|
Children learn about body awareness and
personal safety from the children and adults around them. In
order for children to learn how to protect themselves from unwanted
touches, they must first become aware of their own bodies.
children must first be taught that there are physical boundaries that
need to be respected by others.
Here are a few suggestions for modeling respectful behavior:
- Teach your child the correct
names for all body parts. Explain that
everyone's body is special and private and belongs
to themself.
- Let your child know that no one has
the right to touch them without their
permission...not Daddy, Mommy, Auntie, Uncle, no
one! Let them choose whether or not they
feel like hugging or kissing. If they don't feel like
hugging and kissing, support your child and say to Grandma or
Auntie, "She doesn't want to hug or kiss right now, and
that's O.K. It's her choice." Offer ways for
your child to express their feelings such as, "I don't like that. Please stop." Sometimes
children feel more comfortable just saying "No" and walking away, or putting their hand out to say,
"Stop." Role-play so your child
will
understand and can do this with others. Rehearse what
to say and what to do.
- Talk about the difference
between "good touch" and "bad touch." Good touch, such as hugs and holding hands
with family and friends, makes children feel safe and loved. Good touch is never
forced and is never a secret. Bad touch makes children feel uncomfortable,
overwhelmed, afraid, guilty, and "yucky." Some examples of bad touch are:
hitting, unwanted touching of a child's body (especially private parts), or
being forced to touch someone else's body. Knowing the difference between "good" and "bad" touch will help you to talk with
your child about how they feel when
touched (or being touched) by others. Make sure your child feels comfortable
telling you and other trusted adults anything that happens without fear of ridicule or punishment.
- A caution about tickling...Be sensitive to
your child's response and preferences.
When children laugh, it is a reflex. Adults may think the child is having
fun, but some children feel out of control, uncomfortable, and may end up
crying.
- Model respect for your own body. Let your children know when you want
privacy, when you don't want to be touched,
and where you don't want to be touched. Make sure that other adults also
respect your body...Children learn healthy boundaries from you, their role
model.
SUGGESTED READING: Some excellent books are available. Those at the State Libraries include call numbers:
What are some books that I can read to my child about personal
safety? Many books are available at Hawaii State Library
branches and at local bookstores to help children understand
personal safety. Don't hesitate to ask for recommendations. Some
suggestions are:
• Your Body Belongs to You by Amy Bahr
• My Body is Private by Linda Walvoord Girard
• Sometimes It's OK To Tell Secrets by Amy Bahr
• Strangers Don't Look Like the Big Bad Wolf by Janis
Buschman and Debbie Hunley
• Children Are Special=Kupono No. Keiki by Corinne Matsumoto
e
• Please Play Safe! Penguin's Guide to Playground Safety by
Margery Cuyler
|
Back to top
 |
"A PARENT ASKS" |
Q: What should I do when my 3 year old daughter refuses to
give her grandma a hug when we are going home? I am so embarrassed!
A: If your child doesn't want to cuddle and doesn't
want to kiss, respect her wishes and be careful not to force her.
Giving and receiving affection is about sharing, not forcing. Both the
giver and the receiver need to feel comfortable. When you respect her
boundaries, she is learning to respect her own boundaries and also the
boundaries of others. During a quiet time at home, talk with her about
different ways she likes to say goodbye to grandma. She may want to
blow a kiss, wave, "high five," or just say "Bye Grandma." Let grandma
know privately what you are doing so that she is comfortable with your
daughters choice and doesn't try to tease or push her into giving a
hug. This might feel awkward at first, but the reward will be in
knowing that when and how your daughter does show affection, it is
genuinely her choice. You will also be letting your daughter know that
you trust her to respect her own comfort zone and will honor her
decisions. This is a big step in teaching her about personal safety.
Back to top
 |
"PARENTS WANT TO KNOW" |
When your child squeals while reaching for a toy, you may wonder about
whether his speech skills are developing on schedule. Before
concluding that your child's speech development is delayed, please
remember that each child develops at his or her own pace and may well
be within a normal range of development. It is also important to
remember:
• Children understand more than they can express
• Girls
seem to communicate earlier than boys
• Language can develop smoothly
or in spurts 8 Speech development will vary so please do not compare
your child to another.
• 3 months of age - knows mother's voice,
knows fathers voice, and makes vowel sounds. 6-8 months of age - makes
consonant sounds, may say 'dada' or 'mama' but does not yet use these
words to refer to specific individuals.
• 1 year old - attaches 'mama'
and 'dada' to the right person, says 2-3 words in addition to 'mama'
and 'dada', understands simple commands, recognizes his or her name,
and recognizes words as symbols for objects (for example, points to
the garage when you say "car').
• 18 months old - says nouns, verbs,
and a few action phrases. They are able to say names of special
people, adds gestures to speech, and follows simple instructions.
• 2
years of age - combines words and makes simple sentences like 'Daddy
go.' Knows simple body parts, makes sounds of familiar animals, and
has increased understanding of what others are saying.
• 3 years of
age - uses sentences 3 to 5 words long and repeats words overheard in
conversations. Gives first and last name and holds up fingers to tell
age. Knows a familiar tune or song, asks "why" and "who" questions,
and names common pictures and things.
If your child is between 0 to 3
years old and you suspect your child may be delayed in speech
development or other developmental areas (e.g., physical, cognitive,
psychosocial), please contact your physician or the Early Intervention
Section of the Department of Health (H-KISS) at 594-0000. For more
developmental information, see: www.kidsource. com
www.keepkidshealthy.com
The Parent Line: Free statewide phone line for parents and others caring for children. Call for support, encouragement, information, and ideas about handling behavior or about community resources. Mon-Fri 8 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sat 9 a.m.-1p.m. O'ahu Ph. 526-1222. Neighbor Island parents call toll-free: 1-800-816-1222.
H-KISS information line for parents of children 0-3 with special needs. Hours are Monday - Friday 8:30 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. O'ahu: 594-0066; Neighbor Island parents may call toll free: 1-800-235-5477.
SAFETY WORKS
|
Always read the label to know
if a toy is safe for your child's age. Keep broken toys and toys
with small parts or sharp edges away from children younger than
5 years old. Proper supervision is always important. Keep in
mind that younger siblings will be curious about an older
child's toys. Read labels and look for toys that are safe as
well as fun for your child. Please visit the U.S. Consumer
Product Safety Commission website to check to see if items have
been recalled. Here's a link: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prerel.html
|
Back to top
|
|
