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 pring
in Hawaii means a lot of rainy days. With kids cooped up at home after
school, boredom can lead to undesirable behaviors.
All kids
play aggressively once in a while, but for their own safety, we should help
them to come up with better ways of expressing themselves.
Toddlers
may hit, kick, or bite when they feel frustrated. It may be because they
can’t get what they want or because they don’t know how else to let us know
how they are feeling.
Here are
some ways to help your children manage their emotions in a more productive
and positive way.
Watch out for warning signs: Children get frustrated
when they are tired or over stimulated. Any time your child hits, pushes,
shoves, or otherwise hurts someone else, be sure to:
Act Promptly: As soon as you see your child act
aggressively, correct the behavior by saying: No biting! Biting hurts! Or: No hitting! Your arms are made for
hugging, not hitting! Older children are better able to understand cause
and consequence. They should immediately be told to step away from the
situation until they are calm enough to talk about and face the end result
of their behavior.
Consider a Time-Out:
A brief period of isolation can help your child calm down. A good
rule for time-out is one minute per year of age. For example, a
two-year-old should sit out for two minutes. For children older than eight,
it may be more effective to remove a privilege such as TV time or phone.
Follow up: After a time out, allow your child the chance
to apologize. If she refuses, explain that certain behaviors can hurt a
person’s body as well as their feelings and an apology can help them feel
better.
Teach your child better ways to
communicate: Talk to your child about appropriate ways to handle
the situation next time. You might want to say: I know you were angry
because Johnny took your toy. Next time you must use your words and tell
him that he can play with your ball when you are done with it.
Keep your expectations realistic: Asking a toddler to sit for long periods
of time or an older child to do all his homework in one sitting is a tall
order. If your child simply can't do what you're asking, he may resort to
anger to express his frustration.
Watch your own temper:
How do you react when you are frustrated? Do you shout and curse
every time another driver cuts you off? Why shouldn't your child do the
same when he's upset?
And most importantly: NEVER bite your child back;
it will only reinforce aggressive behavior. Your children are not always
paying attention to what you say but they are always watching what you
do!Persistent aggressive behavior can be a sign that your child needs
additional help dealing with negative feelings and emotions. Children who
have a hard time speaking are often frustrated and can resort to
inappropriate physical expression. A pediatrician and/or a speech therapist
can help you to sort things out and help your child to better communicate.
Keep in mind that children are
constantly learning and part of that process is to test their boundaries.
Be very clear about what you expect of them and what the consequences will
be if they disobey. Be patient but firm; stick with your rules. Eventually
your hard work will pay off.
Article derived from:
http://www.parenting.com/article/Toddler/Behavior/Aggression
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SUGGESTED READING:
- Bear Wants More by Karma Wilson
- Hands Are Not For
Hitting
by Martine Agassi
- Hopper Hunts For
Spring
by Marcus Pfister
- I Was So Mad by Mercer Mayer
- Mouse’s First
Spring
by Lauren Thompson
- Planting A Rainbow by Lois Ehlert
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"A PARENT ASKS"
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Q: My family recently
moved to Hawaii from the mainland. Although we love the beautiful weather,
we miss the change of seasons with its great colors and traditions. How can
I help my children adapt to “year-long summers”?
A: Although our seasons are more subtle, we do experience
changes that can be appreciated by you and your family.
Between November and March,
when the temperatures drop, the North Shore becomes home to some of the
most amazing surf competitions and it is well worth watching the monster
waves hit the shore. This is also the best time to watch for whales. Though
we’ve never had a white Christmas, our island is beautiful during the
holidays and you can take a carriage ride with your whole family to see the
downtown lights.
The Bishop Museum offers
different exhibits on nature and science throughout the year and your
children can explore different aspects of our islands that make us special.
Learning about volcanoes and visiting one on the Big Island can be the
highlight of Spring break. The museum offers kama’aina rates and is free
for children under three. Adapting to new surroundings is a wonderful and
valuable ability that your children will use throughout their lives.
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"PARENTS
WANT TO KNOW"
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How can I engage my child into an activity that is both
fun and affordable?
Spring Activity:
Making Happy Memories and Keeping Them Safe
It seems that parents everywhere
have fallen into two categories: the ones who take the time to print out
pictures and end up with boxes full of miscellaneous shots of events they
can no longer name, or the ones who have memory cards filled with digital
images the size of postage stamps. Here are some economically friendly ways
to organize your photos and spend a relaxing hour with your child.
You will need:
· A book for your pictures. It doesn’t
have to be an album or anything fancy. A large notebook will do the trick
· A shoe box with cute scraps of
paper such as left over gift wrappers or old greeting cards
· Fun pens, glitter, popsicle
sticks, recycled items make great
decorations
· A good pair of scissors and
acid-free glue (you will need these to keep your pictures from yellowing)
Let your child help you to crop
and glue the pictures on your scrapbook. Younger children will need
supervision when cutting but they can help by choosing the decorations. If
you are working on pictures of a particular event, ask the child what their
favorite part of that day was and write it down by the photo. One day your
child will look back on all the things you did as a family and think of the
fun they had creating their Memory Book. More importantly, they’ll remember
the time you spent together.
The Parent Line: Free statewide phone line for parents and
others caring for children. Call for support, encouragement, information,
and ideas about handling behavior or about community resources. Mon-Fri 8
a.m.-6 p.m. and Sat 9 a.m.-1p.m. O'ahu Ph. 526-1222. Neighbor Island
parents call toll-free: 1-800-816-1222.
H-KISS: Information line for parents of children 0-3 with
special needs. Hours are Monday - Friday 8:30 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. O'ahu:
594-0066; Neighbor Island parents may call toll free: 1-800-235-5477.
JOKES FOR KIDS!
Knock, knock
Who’s
there?
Cow
Cow,
who?
No they don’t, they moo!
Q:
Why are teddy bears never hungry?
A:
Because they are always stuffed.
Q:
Where do horses live?
A: In neighhhh-borhoods!
Q:
Did you hear the story about the skunk?
A: Never mind, it stinks.
Knock, knock
Who’s there
Boo
Boo,
who?
Well
don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
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SAFETY WORKS
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Teaching
your child safety guidelines when encountering dogs is very important.
Many dog bites are more than just nips, and some may even require
hospitalization or surgery. Basic safety is important for all dogs, even
small ones. Dogs that appear friendly or well-trained may also cause harm
if startled or agitated by children. Be sure to always ask the owner if
it’s okay to approach the dog. Allow the dog to sniff you before petting
it. If a dog that is unfamiliar approaches you, stay calm and do not run
away. Do not look the dog directly in the eye. If a dog tries to bite
you, use anything to put between you and the dog. If you are knocked over
by a dog, cover your face and lie still. Tell your child to never squeeze
dogs too tight or jump on them. Never tease dogs or pull their ears and
tails. Do not disturb dogs while they are eating. Children should also
never play tug of war with a dog or try to take away a toy. To help your
child remember how to act appropriately around dogs, be sure to remind
them of these tips every time they encounter a dog, familiar or
unfamiliar.
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