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Catch Your Child Doing Something Right! |
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Encouraging your child helps develop
self-confidence, self-respect, and a
sense of
accomplishment. As adults,
we feel
good when we receive words
of
encouragement from our family, our
friends,
and our employers. Children need
that encouragement too, and
without it may become discouraged and not
feel good about themselves. They may
become negative, aggressive, anxious,
and fearful. Make a point of noticing
your child's positive behaviors. Children thrive on
recognition. When you tell your child he
did exactly what was expected, he
hears what specific behavior is
appropriate and appreciated. He will
then be much more likely to repeat
that behavior because of the positive
attention he has received.
Try to ignore small mistakes and misbehaviors. If your child really needs to be corrected, focus on teaching what to do. rather than nagging about what not to do. Give children the opportunity to try things even when you know they will struggle. Then you will have given them a chance to learn and to gain a sense of accomplishment by trying. Allow your preschooler to pour his own milk, and if he spills it say, "Oops.the milk spilled! Let's put the pitcher down lower so it's easier to see the glass when you pour. Here's a sponge, let's clean up the milk." Expect progress, not perfection. Notice small improvements. If your child is trying something new and is having a hard time, focus on the fact that she has the courage to try. Say, "Keep trying. It's hard, I know, but don't give up." Children who think they have to do everything perfectly the first time are often afraid to try anything new for fear of making a mistake. Encouraging your child is very important. Remember to keep your own expectations realistic —children's maturity and ability vary greatly, even in the same family. Distinguish between your child and her behavior. Encouragement focuses on the effort the child makes and not what actually gets done. For example, say, " You really worked hard on getting all the pieces in the puzzle to fit. You must be proud." Rather than saying, "You finished the puzzle, good for you." Try not to confuse your child's accomplishment with how you value your child. Be careful not to shame your child when you are correcting his behavior. It is easy for a child to feel that he is not liked or respected after he has made a mistake or has misbehaved. Mistakes are how we all learn. Your child will learn from his mistakes if he is not made to feel embarrassed about them. Sometimes parents start out to say something encouraging but then add words that confuse and hurt their child. For example, "You worked very hard on that, I wish you always would," or "You can do it.... quit whining and get busy." Offer honest encouragement.Don't make too big of a fuss over simple accomplishments as a way to try and make your children feel good about themselves. Be matter-of-fact about self-care activities like teeth brushing, eating, getting dressed, etc. Children are very suspicious of too much praise. It can backfire and make the child have self-doubts about any real accomplishments she makes. It is also important not to use encouragement as a reward for positive behavior because then your child learns to work for the reward rather than for her own satisfaction. Remember that the goal is to build your child's self-esteem. You are not trying to make your child perfect. With lots of practice and thoughtful encouragement your child will build new skills, gain a sense of belonging, and feel accepted, strong, and capable.
A: Before she starts to use the crayons, ask her if she remembers what she may draw on. If she says "The paper," say, "You remembered the rule! Good for you!"As she draws, tell her she's doing a good job of coloringon the paper. If she can'tremember the rule, remindher what she is allowed to draw on. Offer her choices of paper i.e. colored, white, cardboard, etc. If she starts to draw on the table or wall, take a deep breath & calmly say, "Please draw on the paper like this," and pick up a crayon and draw something on the paper yourself. If she continues to draw on the wall or table, take the crayons away and say, "Oops, you forgot the rule. Remember, we draw on the paper. I am putting the crayons away for now and after lunch/nap you may try again." Repeat the process later. Remember! Look for successful behavior. Catch your child doing something right and say something positive immediately!
need information on how to select a child care provider, or if you are interested in becoming a child care provider, call Hawai'i's childcare resource & referral agency: O'ahu 839-1988 EastHawai'i 961-3169 West Hawai'i 325-3864 Maui 242-9232 Kaua'i 246-0622 Special
Parent Information Network
Parents of preschool children with special
needs often
wish they had a map to navigate the confusing maze of special education rights and
responsibilities, child care options, government benefits, medical
services, and community resources. Parents
also wish for a travel guide—someone who has been down the road and can
point them in the right direction for information,
services, and support.
SUGGESTED WEBSITES
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