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 his
year, as you think of all the wonderful things that you have to look
forward to as the holiday season approaches, one of them is not the
sound of whining children! It seems that everywhere we go, amidst the
shoppers, the pretty decorations and beautiful holiday music, there is the
undeniable sound every parent can recognize from a distance: whining.
It is not surprising that
such sounds should fill every corner of the mall during the holidays. The
stores are overcrowded and as a result there are lines to buy, lines to
pay, lines to eat, lines to use the bathroom and lines in the parking
lot. Add to the confusion a set of a
million flashing lights and all the animated decorations and you have a
recipe for disaster.
Tell the truth, don’t you
ever feel like whining when they tell you that gift wrapping is free
but the estimated time of wait is seven hours?
What if the whining is
coming from your own children?
Before you panic, remember
that your child will not be the only one having a hard time navigating
through the mobs of people. Children tend to whine when they are hungry,
tired, frustrated or simply need attention. Whether you are headed to the
mall, the airport, or grandma’s house you want to minimize the amount of
stress involved. You may want to explore some smart strategies to help
curve the whining this season.
How
to prevent it:
·
Know your child’s triggers. If whining is at
its worse when she’s hungry, make sure to carry small snacks whenever you
are out of the house for any extended period of time. Tiredness equals
crankiness. Plan on being home by naptime or bring along that favorite
blanket.
·
Let your children know what they can expect
from the outing. Tell them exactly where you’ll be going and what you’ll be
doing. Be very clear about what the
rewards and consequences will be regarding their behavior while out.
·
Whenever
your child speaks in a pleasant voice, answer her promptly. Don’t wait
until she’s called your name several times before she gets your attention.
Your child will drag her vowels longer and longer with each time they say
“Mooooooooom!”
·
Ask
yes or no questions. “What’s bothering you?” may trigger a very winded
answer but “Are you hungry?” may produce a simple reply that will help your
child pinpoint the source of her discomfort/frustration.
·
Treat Before Tantrum: reward your
child for being patient by having a few little treats ready. Make
sure to reward your
child before any signs of misbehaving
or he will get the wrong idea.
How to stop it:
·
Stay calm but be firm.
·
Say simply that you do not understand what
they are trying to say when they whine and that they must use their normal voices if they
want you to listen.
·
Give them a chance to redirect their
emotions by asking them a yes or no question.
·
Stick to the consequences you set before you
left the house.
Remember, your child can sense
if you’re stressed so take breaks through out your shopping day to prevent
you from becoming flustered. With a little preparation and some cheery
holiday spirit your shopping trips will be much more manageable for you and
your child!
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SUGGESTED READING
Some excellent books available at the State Libraries:
· The Way I Feel by Janan Cain
· A Children’s Book About Whining by Joy Berry
· Airport by Bryon Barton
· Counting Christmas by Karen Katz
· A Merry-Mouse Christmas ABC by Priscilla Hillman
· Arthur’s Christmas by Marc Brown
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"A PARENT ASKS"
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Q: My
family will be traveling to the mainland this holiday season. What can I do
to help our travels be stress-free?
A: Traveling with children of any age can be stressful. The best way
to combat stress is to be prepared. Every child is different, so keep in
mind your child’s personality when making reservations. Booking direct flights
may be best for your child, especially while flying during her normal sleep
schedule. If your child is the active, restless type, you may want to book
a flight with a layover so your child can get up and move around.
If you book a flight with a layover,
allow at least three hours between flights. This way you can walk around,
eat, take bathroom breaks, etc. all without rushing from one terminal to
another. Reserve your seats ahead of time to ensure your family has
confirmed seats next to each other. When packing, have entertainment
readily available.
Pack coloring books and
crayons, books to read, cards, dolls, and games that don’t include small
pieces. Toys that you should avoid packing are play-doh and other sticky
items, balls, legos, and items that make noise which will drive both you
and the other passengers crazy. Don’t count on your child liking the food
served on the plane.
Be prepared with sandwiches,
snacks, and reusable water bottles that you can fill after going through
security. Keep your child well fed to avoid them becoming cranky. Arrive at
the airport an hour earlier than suggested for any of those unexpected
accidents, meltdowns, and hungry children. While on board, don’t put your
child in an aisle seats where they may be hit by passing passengers or food
carts. Finally, explaining to your child the process of checking in, going
through security, and boarding can help calm some anxiety your child may
have, and help your travel experience be as stress-free as possible.
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"PARENTS WANT TO KNOW"
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What Will Your Child Remember Most About Growing Up?
Many families have traditions, especially around this holiday
season, but why stop there?
Here are some ideas for creating rituals/traditions with your family
throughout the year:
• Have Saturday or Sunday morning
breakfast
•
Have a regular movie or game night
•
Celebrate the first and last day of the school year
•
Start a collection– player cards, shells, stamps, etc.
•
Have father/daughter or mother/son dates once a month
•
Volunteer at soup kitchens or shelters
•
Have a funny hat or silly costume night and come to the
dinner dressed up
•
Attend college sport games
•
Have lunch with your child at school– make it a surprise
Let it Snow!!!
Making Snowflakes
You will
need:
•
4 craft sticks per snowflake
•
Glue
•
Paint, pens, crayons, etc.
•
Glitter, pom-poms, buttons, etc.
• Ribbon/ string to hang
1.
Glue 4 craft sticks together, crossing each other to form a
snowflake.
2.
DECORATE!
3.
Add a ribbon or string to hang.
The Parent Line: Free statewide phone line for parents and
others caring for children. Call for support, encouragement, information,
and ideas about handling behavior or about community resources. Mon-Fri 8
a.m.-6 p.m. and Sat 9 a.m.-1p.m. O'ahu Ph. 526-1222. Neighbor Island
parents call toll-free: 1-800-816-1222.
Holiday Jokes for Kids
Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The elf-abet!
Q: Why does Santa have three gardens?
A: So he can ho ho
ho!
Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Frosted Flakes!
Q: Who is never hungry at Christmas?
A: The turkey, he’s always stuffed!
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SAFETY WORKS
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Holiday shopping can be
stressful, especially when shopping in crowded stores with
children! Not only can it be stressful, it can also be dangerous without
proper supervision of your child. Leaving your child with another adult
is always the best and least stressful way for you to tackle your
shopping list. Of course this is not always an option, so this holiday
season, exercise some basic safety measures. Keep your child with you at all
times while shopping. If possible, keep your child in a stroller. Don’t
allow your child to stay in the toy department of a store while you shop
elsewhere. Supervise your child in all public areas and accompany him to
the restroom. Talk to your child about safety and what to do if strangers
approach him. Teach your child to look for people who can help him if he
becomes lost, such as a security guard, salesperson, or another mother.
Inform your child to stay in one place if he becomes lost and not to walk
around looking for you. Have your child walk with you, not behind you.
Remember, young children are easily distracted and can lose sight of you
in a second.
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